About me and my family
June 26th, 2006 by garciakarl
Please allow me to post about my family.
First an article about my dad about my two autistic brothers, then followed by what I blogged about my late brother, about me and lastly about joys of expecting my first child.
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A TALE OF TWO LOVES++
Plaridel C. Garcia
May I interest you with my two loves plus, plus? Fathers of autistic children may be relieved a bit to know that I am father to two of them. One was hard enough. Two are too much. Some consoling words I still hear are that God gives great problems to those who can afford it. To be sure some autistic children are being driven to special schools by chauffeured luxury cars. But many may not even have the means to look for a school.
I never thought before that their care and attention could be expensive. There could not have been a better rationalization for “preparing for the future”. It could have helped a lot if I had another house in a farm with a pool. Now my problem is having enough for their room air conditioning and travel requirements. I have no hidden wealth. That’s why I almost did not vacate my government quarters after retirement that was more conducive to their care and to have a rental income from our private house to boot.
A wiser thought is that special children bring luck. I suppose all children, handicapped or not do. But my third boy, the oldest, met an almost fatal traffic accident after Noche Buena 1991. Earlier, he even asked my permission to go to the midnight mass ahead to pray 150 Hail Mary’s (penance after a general confession) for his two brothers. Well, he survived the ICU and post ICU major operations with a sense of humor but partly handicapped. My spiritual advisers told me it could have been worse without the grace of God. I agree. My autistic children could have been worse too.
But I could not help but fantasize that I came from the lost tribe of Job. After all, my maternal surname is Armenian. That is a bit presumptuous to be a progeny of a man of virtue and wealth and to be a subject of a wager between God and Satan. Besides, Satan has already been exiled to hell if not to a Philippines that is “run like hell by Filipinos”.
Job lost his three daughters, but I have three special women to take care of my two special boys plus one. My only daughter wanted to be a lot of things: dancer, singer, musician, lawyer, painter, poet, screenwriter, etc. But she has only so much time to spare from helping her mother take care of her brothers. She grew up with an abundant share of what is not heaven.
My daughter-in-law was only a few days old girl friend of my son when he had the accident. She took care of him or what is left of him. Then she has to share with the burden of her brothers-in-law as well.
My wife had to take care of three handicapped boys, four to be precise. I am her fourth “special” man. I know that mothering is more difficult than fathering special children. But women are made of sterner stuff. She knew she could have been a businesswoman like some generals’ wives but she did not have time to spare, among other things.
~@~
It is true that special children are gifts and not children of the lesser God. Old enough to be a grandfather, I have the pleasure of tucking them in to bed. When I seem to miss to say the evening prayer on time, one says “Amen!” incessantly until I do the sign of the cross. Interesting.
My two boys are disciplined citizens of their own world as I am trying to be one in mine. They favor garbage separation. They put on and off the electric switches when they enter and exit their rooms although too exuberantly at times. Their basic needs are predictable unlike us “normal” people. Their food and drinks are easy to budget. I cannot complain about their only luxury.
They don’t have the luxury of an understanding society. Expatriates are kinder and gentler. It used to be annoying walking them through the malls and park - their necessary entertainment and therapy. But even Filipinos seem to be developing some heart for people in need of special attention. Would you like to give the rest of them your special care and love too?
This is the tale of my two loves–my best and the worst of times.
P.S.
I lost one of my autistic boys in 2003 on Mother’s day after my three major medical operations, one each I offered for my three boys. I was told his soul is in heaven watching. Great joy!
My other autistic boy has learned to ride a pedi-cab with rare tantrums. I guess he understands that not all generals can afford to replace an old car and repair a mortgaged old house. Thanks be to God for my suffering and joy.
***********************************************************
September 15, 2005
My First Blog
As I celebrate my 34th B day, I now await the following day …..Sept 16, my late brother’s birthday. PG and my self were one year apart maybe because we were both conceived on a December(I just said maybe but I kow it is for sure).Tomorrow was supposed to be PG’s 33th bday but he passed on last 2003 due to an epeleptic episode.PG, an autistic savant….give him something to read and he will write everything on the wall(randomly).The first time we saw the writing on the wall we wonder where the hell did those "random "words come from ,then we saw a magazine nearby and we figured out it came from that.I miss the guy, I still have RJ another autiststic savant with the the attributes of being forever a baby . All the good and bad aspects of a child…the tantrums and the angelic face when he wants something(it could go in any order angelic face then tantrums or vice versa)……Going back to PG……Boy ,his medications had this side effect of him being moody and would want you not to go near him dahil baka masuntok ka…All of us got hit …no exceptions pero now that he’s gone I am beginning to miss it.I have more memories of PG…every bday left in my life I will always remember thatthe following day would be his turn……
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Life of a bum and life before he was not yet one
Sa ngayon MBA graduate nga ako pero wala namang trabahoAno bang dapat kong gawin mag blog ng mag blog hanggang sawaSa mga comments ko about the economy ang galing galing ko nung sabihin ko na that the Philippines needs technopreneurs and need to export other than electronics and make full use of the ethanol and cocodiesel advantagetapos meron pa dun na makipagcollaborate sa mga inventor at pagkakitaan nyo ang invention nya.Ke dali sabihin ang hirap gawinpero ayoko ko naman maging consultant kahit alam mong labas na ako sa implementation part ng mga pinagsasabi ko.Yung utol ko nakahingi dati ke erpats ng pampuhunan pero highend resto naman ang tinayo at sa abotlangit na mall pamaglilimang taun na puro sa expenses napunta kung me dividendo kakarampotkaya wala ring puhunan e di umutang ……..ang dali dali eh…. naku me hinuhulugan akong insurance dati nung me trabaho pa akodalwang taun ko ng hindi nababyaran pati SSS loan ko at pag ibigdi hingi ke erpat..wala na nabuhos na sa isang negosyo ni utol eh tapos di makapag benta ng iba lupanakisakay kasi sya sa realestate bug noon di naman nya mabenta kung kelangan nya….at namomroblema pa nga sya ngayun dapat retirado na syagastos gastos pa namin sa kuryente at sa lahateto me storya tosince i have two special brothers one died already kaya isa na lang ngayon… I decided that my wife and I remain with my parents di ko naman alam one day mawawalan ako ng trabahoat one day magiging pabigat na lang.Pero ang hirap ding magalaga ng Bondying ha, iiyak na lang bigla kung ayaw mo ibigay ang gusto at kung gusto mamasyal kahit madaling araw gigsingin ka at kung gutom ngangawatapos di pa nagsasalita kaya puro iyakNaku ang hirap 30s na din sya etapos nung buhay pa isa ko bro epyleptic kaya uniinom ng Dilantin me side effect yata yon na bigla kana lang sasapakin at any random moment Nung girlfriend ko palang si esmi blackeye nga dati ehbuti nga di ako iniwanan..by that time me feeling na ako na she is for keeps..One week pa lang kami nun ng december 1991 nung maaksidente kami ng barkada ko nung pasko nung taon na yon…Di nya ako iniwanan inalagaan pa kahit nagkaamnesia ako at iba yung naitawag ko sa kanyang pangalan nung me malay na ako.Ayun kahit wala kaming supling mahal na mahalko sya kahit asot pusa kami.
Update
From January to May, I had a temporary job as a real estate agent.
From January til February I was with DMCI Homes.
From Feb til May I tried to partner with a real estate broker para mas madaming choices.
Me allowance nga sa DMCI kaya lang maliit lang tapos required pumasok kung pwede seven days a week,tapos kailangan gumastos ka sa classified ads kundi walang mangyayari.
Nung umalis ako, medyo nadagdagan ang time sa bahay pero kailangan mo pa din gumastos sa classified ads at pamasahe para pakita sa mga clients ang mga properties na inadvetise mo.
Medyo, magastos nga !
Now the best part.
During the last week of May binalita ng wife ko na magkakapanganay na kami. Wow, I was excited ! Tapos nag isip isip ako yung wife ko nagbibigay ng allowance sa akin;kailangan ng maghanap ng trabaho para sa babay.
Well, I tried the banks, ganito sinabi sa akin.We are ready to process your application for Officer’s trainee,but unfortunately our cut-off is only thirty years old.
Sabi ko,useless ma de press, baka maapektuhan si misis.Kaya chin-up ako. OK lang magaalaga na lang muna ako ng baby. di pa magbayad ng yaya.
Please allow me to post about my family.
First an article about my dad about my two autistic brothers, then followed by what I blogged about my late brother, about me and lastly about joys of expecting my first child.
***********************************************************
A TALE OF TWO LOVES++
Plaridel C. Garcia
May I interest you with my two loves plus, plus? Fathers of autistic children may be relieved a bit to know that I am father to two of them. One was hard enough. Two are too much. Some consoling words I still hear are that God gives great problems to those who can afford it. To be sure some autistic children are being driven to special schools by chauffeured luxury cars. But many may not even have the means to look for a school.
I never thought before that their care and attention could be expensive. There could not have been a better rationalization for “preparing for the future”. It could have helped a lot if I had another house in a farm with a pool. Now my problem is having enough for their room air conditioning and travel requirements. I have no hidden wealth. That’s why I almost did not vacate my government quarters after retirement that was more conducive to their care and to have a rental income from our private house to boot.
A wiser thought is that special children bring luck. I suppose all children, handicapped or not do. But my third boy, the oldest, met an almost fatal traffic accident after Noche Buena 1991. Earlier, he even asked my permission to go to the midnight mass ahead to pray 150 Hail Mary’s (penance after a general confession) for his two brothers. Well, he survived the ICU and post ICU major operations with a sense of humor but partly handicapped. My spiritual advisers told me it could have been worse without the grace of God. I agree. My autistic children could have been worse too.
But I could not help but fantasize that I came from the lost tribe of Job. After all, my maternal surname is Armenian. That is a bit presumptuous to be a progeny of a man of virtue and wealth and to be a subject of a wager between God and Satan. Besides, Satan has already been exiled to hell if not to a Philippines that is “run like hell by Filipinos”.
Job lost his three daughters, but I have three special women to take care of my two special boys plus one. My only daughter wanted to be a lot of things: dancer, singer, musician, lawyer, painter, poet, screenwriter, etc. But she has only so much time to spare from helping her mother take care of her brothers. She grew up with an abundant share of what is not heaven.
My daughter-in-law was only a few days old girl friend of my son when he had the accident. She took care of him or what is left of him. Then she has to share with the burden of her brothers-in-law as well.
My wife had to take care of three handicapped boys, four to be precise. I am her fourth “special” man. I know that mothering is more difficult than fathering special children. But women are made of sterner stuff. She knew she could have been a businesswoman like some generals’ wives but she did not have time to spare, among other things.
~@~
It is true that special children are gifts and not children of the lesser God. Old enough to be a grandfather, I have the pleasure of tucking them in to bed. When I seem to miss to say the evening prayer on time, one says “Amen!” incessantly until I do the sign of the cross. Interesting.
My two boys are disciplined citizens of their own world as I am trying to be one in mine. They favor garbage separation. They put on and off the electric switches when they enter and exit their rooms although too exuberantly at times. Their basic needs are predictable unlike us “normal” people. Their food and drinks are easy to budget. I cannot complain about their only luxury.
They don’t have the luxury of an understanding society. Expatriates are kinder and gentler. It used to be annoying walking them through the malls and park - their necessary entertainment and therapy. But even Filipinos seem to be developing some heart for people in need of special attention. Would you like to give the rest of them your special care and love too?
This is the tale of my two loves–my best and the worst of times.
P.S.
I lost one of my autistic boys in 2003 on Mother’s day after my three major medical operations, one each I offered for my three boys. I was told his soul is in heaven watching. Great joy!
My other autistic boy has learned to ride a pedi-cab with rare tantrums. I guess he understands that not all generals can afford to replace an old car and repair a mortgaged old house. Thanks be to God for my suffering and joy.
***********************************************************
September 15, 2005
My First Blog
As I celebrate my 34th B day, I now await the following day …..Sept 16, my late brother’s birthday. PG and my self were one year apart maybe because we were both conceived on a December(I just said maybe but I kow it is for sure).Tomorrow was supposed to be PG’s 33th bday but he passed on last 2003 due to an epeleptic episode.PG, an autistic savant….give him something to read and he will write everything on the wall(randomly).The first time we saw the writing on the wall we wonder where the hell did those "random "words come from ,then we saw a magazine nearby and we figured out it came from that.I miss the guy, I still have RJ another autiststic savant with the the attributes of being forever a baby . All the good and bad aspects of a child…the tantrums and the angelic face when he wants something(it could go in any order angelic face then tantrums or vice versa)……Going back to PG……Boy ,his medications had this side effect of him being moody and would want you not to go near him dahil baka masuntok ka…All of us got hit …no exceptions pero now that he’s gone I am beginning to miss it.I have more memories of PG…every bday left in my life I will always remember thatthe following day would be his turn……
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Life of a bum and life before he was not yet one
Sa ngayon MBA graduate nga ako pero wala namang trabahoAno bang dapat kong gawin mag blog ng mag blog hanggang sawaSa mga comments ko about the economy ang galing galing ko nung sabihin ko na that the Philippines needs technopreneurs and need to export other than electronics and make full use of the ethanol and cocodiesel advantagetapos meron pa dun na makipagcollaborate sa mga inventor at pagkakitaan nyo ang invention nya.Ke dali sabihin ang hirap gawinpero ayoko ko naman maging consultant kahit alam mong labas na ako sa implementation part ng mga pinagsasabi ko.Yung utol ko nakahingi dati ke erpats ng pampuhunan pero highend resto naman ang tinayo at sa abotlangit na mall pamaglilimang taun na puro sa expenses napunta kung me dividendo kakarampotkaya wala ring puhunan e di umutang ……..ang dali dali eh…. naku me hinuhulugan akong insurance dati nung me trabaho pa akodalwang taun ko ng hindi nababyaran pati SSS loan ko at pag ibigdi hingi ke erpat..wala na nabuhos na sa isang negosyo ni utol eh tapos di makapag benta ng iba lupanakisakay kasi sya sa realestate bug noon di naman nya mabenta kung kelangan nya….at namomroblema pa nga sya ngayun dapat retirado na syagastos gastos pa namin sa kuryente at sa lahateto me storya tosince i have two special brothers one died already kaya isa na lang ngayon… I decided that my wife and I remain with my parents di ko naman alam one day mawawalan ako ng trabahoat one day magiging pabigat na lang.Pero ang hirap ding magalaga ng Bondying ha, iiyak na lang bigla kung ayaw mo ibigay ang gusto at kung gusto mamasyal kahit madaling araw gigsingin ka at kung gutom ngangawatapos di pa nagsasalita kaya puro iyakNaku ang hirap 30s na din sya etapos nung buhay pa isa ko bro epyleptic kaya uniinom ng Dilantin me side effect yata yon na bigla kana lang sasapakin at any random moment Nung girlfriend ko palang si esmi blackeye nga dati ehbuti nga di ako iniwanan..by that time me feeling na ako na she is for keeps..One week pa lang kami nun ng december 1991 nung maaksidente kami ng barkada ko nung pasko nung taon na yon…Di nya ako iniwanan inalagaan pa kahit nagkaamnesia ako at iba yung naitawag ko sa kanyang pangalan nung me malay na ako.Ayun kahit wala kaming supling mahal na mahalko sya kahit asot pusa kami.
Update
From January to May, I had a temporary job as a real estate agent.
From January til February I was with DMCI Homes.
From Feb til May I tried to partner with a real estate broker para mas madaming choices.
Me allowance nga sa DMCI kaya lang maliit lang tapos required pumasok kung pwede seven days a week,tapos kailangan gumastos ka sa classified ads kundi walang mangyayari.
Nung umalis ako, medyo nadagdagan ang time sa bahay pero kailangan mo pa din gumastos sa classified ads at pamasahe para pakita sa mga clients ang mga properties na inadvetise mo.
Medyo, magastos nga !
Now the best part.
During the last week of May binalita ng wife ko na magkakapanganay na kami. Wow, I was excited ! Tapos nag isip isip ako yung wife ko nagbibigay ng allowance sa akin;kailangan ng maghanap ng trabaho para sa babay.
Well, I tried the banks, ganito sinabi sa akin.We are ready to process your application for Officer’s trainee,but unfortunately our cut-off is only thirty years old.
Sabi ko,useless ma de press, baka maapektuhan si misis.Kaya chin-up ako. OK lang magaalaga na lang muna ako ng baby. di pa magbayad ng yaya.
*******************************
Fast forward: 2007
From September 2006 til August 2007, I tried the call centers.
My first stint was cut short mid January, because we have not found a nanny yet and my wife needed help.in addition, why would I ask her to resign when she earns twice as much. Well the second call center job was from the month of March til August.
I resigned due to health reasons.I am hypertensive,diabetc,and the rest I don’t want to know.
My dad offered me a researcher position in the senate defense committee,and as the call center agents say: I will be more than happy to assist!
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Re:family.
I also have a sister,who right now is doing a lot of sacrifices to help our family with my remaining "specia"l brother. I love her for that.
